This year has changed & challenged me.
Every year continues to do so.
And for that, I am immensely grateful.
I wrote those words leading up the Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend this year, with strong intentions to post this blog on that weekend, but my own self-sabotage has held me back. I’ve read and re-read this post so many times through, and each time I go to press publish and share it with others, there still remains that catch in my throat and a deep feeling, a grumbling of sorts, in my Root Chakra.
I share adamantly about my past, but somehow this time through it feels different, it feels more open & raw, lately everything - everything I’ve shared and how I’ve shared it has, and each week I’m met with that same feeling again.
The throat catch, the lurch in my Root Chakra, my ego going a mile a minute in my head - reminding me of every reason that I shouldn’t press publish. That I have a million and one other things I should be attending to in life that would keep me from putting words to paper, or in this case - publishing words on the screen.
This is part of my own identity shift, a theme that we’ve been all healing through in our own ways this past year, which will slowly come to a conclusion at the beginning of 2020 (depending on where you are in your awakening process & healing timelines).
This theme - this identity shift, it’s been calling us to be our best selves - the selves we knew we came here to be and it’s not backing down until we engage, commit, and move forward with it, however much the other parts of ourselves protest. Our ego selves surely being one very nagging culprit that is constantly getting in the way with its self-doubting ruminations.
But you see, and I know you do see - that inner part of yourself or that higher version of yourself that is already living the life you have envisioned, or that you have been shown visions of.
These visions are here, and feeling very very real to you to show you that it does exist, that life exists, and maybe right now it’s a parallel reality version of yourself that you keep witnessing, beckoning you to make the changes you need to make now so that you can merge and collapse the timelines to get to where you want to be.
I know this exists for me because I feel it deep within my bones. It’s not a belief, but a pure knowing at the deepest core of my being, and I know that these experiences exist for you as well.
They open your eyes to the new possibilities that surround you, and as your intuitive gifts have become more precise & more open this year with each energy upgrade or phase of awakening that you’ve experienced - you’ve been shown more and more of exactly who and what you’re meant to be, because you’re meant to be her now.
And everything less than that, anything less than her in her highest place/space, is a compromise - a compromise to you, a compromise to your true values/beliefs, and a compromise to the vision that you have for yourself.
We are being broken open right now - in so many different ways - to see these compromises for ourselves and to show us what they really are. Because for every time you choose or make a decision against the self you’re meant to be, you’re choosing to compromise yourself, and your highest self, and these compromises add up to layers upon layers of energetic wounds that we tie ourselves up in - that we force upon ourselves.
Every time we don’t choose to honour ourselves, or our boundaries, we cause a kind of stress fracture in our energetic systems, creating etheric ties to others in our lives and the ways in which we dishonour that which we’re meant to be upholding for ourselves.
These stress fractures, as I call them, are what ultimately build up to the blocks we create in our energetic pattern, or our energy bodies. Not dealt with, these blocks force us to look closely at ourselves and heal, or find healing, to process through the decades worth of stresses that we’ve built up in ourselves.
And these last few months, with all the healing we’ve been going through, these blocks and these walls are all coming tumbling down.
We’ve been forced to look at them, and heal them deep within ourselves. But they’re also showing up in our physical bodies & outer realities as well.
If you’ve been ill recently, or like me with ongoing illness after illness since July, this is one major sign that you are being broken open and letting go of all the old energy, beliefs, patterns, etc., that can not move forward with you because they don’t serve the next highest version of yourself that you’ve moving into.
Another common symptom that I’ve witnessed is being repeatedly tested, with small inconveniences in everyday life, to larger issues like money that keep popping up one after another.
This disruptive energy appears to be moving past us after Halloween this year, and if you’ve been tuned in you can likely feel how BIG the energy feels around this Halloween. It’s an accumulation of sorts and a tipping point.
A tipping point that we’ve been moving towards since 2019 began.
Get ready for some of your healing phases to come to a much-welcomed close in these next two weeks as we head into this energy of Halloween :)
Perhaps I’ll save the rest of this blog post & its true intended story for a Part II this week. As the above words were clearly what needed to come through for all to hear today.
In Grace & Peace,
xo. Tanya
Wondering how to tune into your own energy? I created this Free 5 Day Course to help you do just that. Learn how your own energy patterns & behaviours are affecting your life, and what they might be trying to tell you.